Live Blogging Chinese New Year

The blogger website has been "broken" in China for quite some time, but it seems to be worker now. I'll be posting a digest of recent activities soon, but for now, a live blogging of the CCTV Chinese New Year Gala.

If you're not familiar, this is probably the most watched program of Chinese television all year. Everyone I know is at home watching with their family. It features song, dance, and skits called Cross talks, a traditional Chinese form of comedic dialogue. They are all slapstick and funny despite the sometimes sensitive issues they touch on. This post will be quite long, but I hope it will be worth the read- it should provide a glimpse into Chinese life from a very different angle.

Dislcaimer: This is simply my best guess of what's going on. I might or might not be spot on. Sorry.

I've begun blogging a bit late. We've already had a few songs and dances and two cross talks, one about a "Good Samaritan" who brings a car crash victim to the hospital but is actually the one who ran him over, and the other about a wife and husband who have a spat but eventually reconcile.


8:35- Dancers in multicolored dresses (fuschia bodice, yellow skirt; pink bodice, lemon skirt; etc)sing and dance 50's style. Something about loving out fellow Chinese in Taiwan, Macao, and Hong Kong.

8:49- The stage is set as a Blue's Clues style playroom with mascots of talking clocks, pencils, etc dancing around. Fifty little girls in pink tent-style dresses run out, attacking the humanoid objects (hugging maybe?) and singing "I like you, do you like me?." Now Xi Yang Yang makes an appearnce, followed my some whimsical tiger mascots.

8:54- Crosstalk #3- This one is a meta, featuring two cross talk performers who decide to find new partners. The one who wants a new partner dislikes the new guy he's matched with and ends up partner-less. Wonder what the moral is there?

9:08- Woman in a pink dress and elaborate headpiece dances slowly to violin music surrounded by folk dancing on the floor,possibly dressed as mermaids. Mermaids are on their feet now, and they are all dancing full out ballet while the screen in the background shows some technicolor flowers/mushrooms. Oh I get it! It's a flower blossom- pink girl is the bud, and the others are the leaves.

9:13- Cross talk called "Decoration" which is apparently a remix of a very famous old skit. A wife has gone to Korea for plastic surgery and returns looking young and beautiful albeit with a frozen Botox face. Everyone thinks the husband is keeping a mistress, and disaster ensues. The couple decides the wife should have surgery again to go back to her old face.

9:27- "Legend" is sung. It's a famous song here- your basic pop love ballad.

9:31- A "sketch." Seems to be a type of interpretative dance/non humorous skit about some female air force pilots fighting over who gets to fly over Tiananmen Square during the 60th anniversary operation. The one who is the back up is sad, but the others wear her name on their flight suits, and "in her heart, she is flying." Sort of glad I'm alone so I can laugh a little. The people in the audience are crying.

9:40- The real fighter pilots come out, and the audience gives a wild ovation to the real life back up pilot who seems a little traumatized.

9:42- Recap of the 60th celebrations complete with patriotic anthems and sherbet colored dancers. On a serious note, the depth of feeling displayed in patriotic situations is unrivaled by anything I've seen before. It's quite moving.

9:45- Memorial for Chinese killed in the Haiti earthquake and recognition of their family members, who are in seats of honor. They are honored as heroes.

9:46- Recognition of models of Charity, Heroism, Honesty, Professionalism, Filial Piety; these are people who have been selected from the various ethnic groups for their particular embodiment of these very Chinese virtues.

9:47- Greetings to Chinese living abroad

9:48- Medley "Harmonious Homeland"- compilation of many folk songs from both Han and minority groups (I think). You see these sorts of things a lot- singing old songs in hoping of uniting in the present.

9:56- Cross talk about a husband and wife quarreling over whether to try to pass off a fake bill they receive. (This is a fairly common problem here and has happened to me and several people I know.) A policeman gets involved, and the counterfeiter is found in the end.

10:10- Another cheesy and slightly off-key pop love ballad. The army generals in the front row are not amused.

10:16- Magic tricks by Liu Chen! I've seen him in person, and he's quite good. Funnier and less gimmicky than Copperwhatsit.

10:31- I'm on the phone, so the TV is muted, but there are a group of frenetic dancers in red. They're talented.

10:36- Another sktech. A college graduate starts a potato selling business, and his mother hires a girl to buy all the potatoes, so he expands. It becomes like Aunt Bea and the pickles, and the situation eventually collapses into hilarity.

In the background, fireworks continue to explode in vast quantities. Here, individual families put on fireworks shows that would shame most US municipalities on the 4th of July.

10:49- That was a long skit about potatoes. Ok, more ballet to a song entitled "Happiness." It seems that dancers are all wearing wedding dresses. "Happy people are the most beautiful." The song is mostly about happy families with children.

10:55- Interpretative dance with a rubix cube. Pretty cool actually. Reminds me a little of the Power Rangers!

11:00- One hour to go! This one is called "Smile" and is dedicated to the upcoming World Expo in Shanghai. Your basic world peace and happiness lyrics sung by Mao Amin, who has a lovely voice.

11:04- Group of acrobats in blue. Okay, enough musical numbers...

11:09- An 8 year old girl comes on to stage to prove her mastery of "The Old 100"- a list of the classic 100 Chinese surnames. They have a particular order, and this girl has learned them all. That's nice, I suppose, but why...?

11:11- A song about the beauty of Chinese calligraphy. That's a new one. On a slightly tangential note, someone offered to teach my calligraphy today. I politely declined, as I'm a disaster with all sorts of drawing, writing, and painting. The reply: "It's ok, I can teach anyone!" I had a flashback to when Jeff was sure he could teach me ice skating. That ended up with me sprawled on top of him on the ice, and we both laughed so hard we couldn't get up. No thanks.

11:16- Another cross talk that is way too complicated to summarize with any sort of brevity. Not my favorite.

11:34- Sketch is still going strong. * yawn *

11:37- Oh this is cool- a photo montage of the last year around China. In a moment of rare self-directed irony, the dancers are dressed as tourists taking lots of photos.

11:42- We're now singing about the "Sunny Road," which looks remarkably like its yellow-brick cousin. Not much longer til midnight...

11:48- A bunch of students in school uniforms and young pioneers scarves tilt their heads back and forth while the singer, dressed as a teacher, sings about flowers. Bright future, young minds, etc. "When you drink the water, think of those who dug the well."

The fireworks are increasing in intensity outdoors...Five minutes to go!

11:55- Finale time! All the dancers from all the numbers crowd on stage to one of the many national anthems!

12 midnight! Happy New Year! I have no idea what the TV is saying due to the massive explosions going on outside. I can smell the cordite! It's raining cherry blossoms (on TV, not in my living room, although that would be cool) And now they're singing the Chinese version of Auld LAng Syne.

My night is complete. I think there is another hour of programming, but it will go unwatched by me.